Tonight's late night is Raj's fault.
:)
He goes and gives me a stack of comics to read.
I use to collect comics in a big way.
Like 20 to 30 bucks a week in comics back in the day.
But I could not continue to justify that much cash each month for a ten minute read.
I read to bloody fast a lot of times.
Anyways, I would still love to be able to afford to collect and more importantly read comics since there are a lot of comics out there that are amazing.
Don't let anyone, ever, tell you that comics are shit and not "legitimate" reading.
They don't know their ass from a hole in the ground when they say things like that.
That is not to say that there are not crap comics out there.
Just as with books there is bad shit and good shit.
Tonight however as I said is Raj's fault.
Raj just happened to come across a stack of comics, which of course knowing that I was going to be data starved this week dumped a load of them on me.
One of those comics is called "Powers" from image comics.
It is amazing.
I started reading thinking I would read a couple of issues and pick it up again later.
Ya right.
Like I could put it down before the first story arc was finished.
If you have a chance to read this fantastic comic, do yourself a favour and pick it up.
It took all my will power to stop reading as the next story arc had Warren Ellis as the guest star.
After the rambling of yesterday I am feeling much better.
I guess I had to get it off my chest.
I was kind of skimming it through again as I ran it through the spell checker (as said yesterday, I can be a dumbass at times.
I have word et al on my 'puter, so what do I use to write this up on but notepad.
Duh.
BTW, if anyone can suggest a good offline poster thingy for Blogger, let me know.)
Anyways, sidetracked as usual, as I am skimming through it I was tempted to edit my thoughts.
But I decided against that line of action.
That was my thoughts of the time and I don't regret or retract anything that is posted there.
The one portion that I was really tempted to edit was the bit about the other half's 'boyfriends' and getting between Sarah and me.
I wonder if that sounded a litte...selfish...paranoid or just unfair.
I know that the other half is not evil (that's my job :)) and that she really has Sarah's best interests in mind, its just she seems so different that I wonder if I was blind to changes in both our personalities.
I was thinking today on the boat (took Sarah on another cruise, this time in Kingston.
We both had a great time.), I was thinking that we were so wrapped up in trying to get on with life that we forgot to stop and smell the roses.
I think we stopped having fun together.
Don't ever let that happen to you.
I know that in the past couple of years I was feeling so sorry for myself in the crappy jobs that the hours that I spent not at work, I spent worrying about work or...hmm...damn, can't think of how to express this.
I guess I spent the hours just feeling sorry and thinking that I was a failure to both my wife and my daughter.
I had always said I wanted out of McD's but did very little about it until push came to shove.
As I said yesterday, I am not pinning blame on anyone.
Just trying to figure out what went wrong.
I really realize that there is life after separation and I figure that I have to take what I learned from the past and apply it going forward.
As I am typing this, it seems so obvious but in some ways I can be so smart and in others I am such a dunce.
Relationships are definitely a dunce area for me.
I like to think that I am a smart guy, so it really bugs me when I mess things up.
I usually take mistakes that I make very personal.
I know a great road to an ulcer or anxiety.
I don't like making mistakes, at least not mistakes where I should have known better or where if I had taken the time to look it would not be a mistake.
I don't know where I am going with this.
I do know that I don't want to make these mistakes again and am making the vow to myself right now to stop and smell those roses.
Well, I think I have done enough soul bearing for now.
It has been a great week away from everything.
Although I am craving some adult conversation. :)
It's funny at the beginning of the week I was in such a state that I was thinking that I could get use to life in the middle of nowhere, but I can definitely say that I would go crazy (or crazier) here in the middle of nowhere.
I can say without a hint of a doubt that this week away was definitely what I needed to clear my head.
It was in desperate need of clearing.
Does that mean I am going to jump on to Lavalife or anything like that...maybe...maybe not right away.
Am I going to obsess about the other half dating...that is a definite no.
Do I wish things could have been different?
Of course.
But things are as things are.
We take the hand that is dealt us and make the best of it.
And to finish this off with another cliche but one that I am going to credit the other half with since it is her that always said it.
We can be friends, right now it is a little touch and go since I am still feeling the wounds, but time will heal those or at least minimize them.
I still care for her and will always but we have to move on.
So her saying; "Tough times don't last, tough people do."
Now I may have screwed it up, but you get the gist.
G'night all. Talk to you soon.
