Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Sometimes I just set myself up for disappointment
I don't know why I do this, but I do. I get an idea in my head. My brain then starts running with this idea. Sometimes this is good. Many of times, its not. My brain runs with this idea to the point that when the idea doesn't come to fruitation, I get disappointed. Even when there wasn't a snowball's chance in hell for this idea to come true in the first place. Allt his does in increase my anxiety. Not good. Not good at all.
So I really need to put this runaway train brain of mine to good use. I have an outlet. My photography. I really really enjoy this hobby and it really do provide a good outlet for me. But I really need to put some of my crazy ideas to action. (damn I used really a lot in that last couple of sentences). Anyways, I have been procrastinating on setting up a mini photo studio to do some close quarters shotting for a while now. I have been procrastinating on some other ideas for a while now. I need to stop the procrastinating!
Anyways. I also need to start getting MORE sleep. I haven't been sleeping the greatest lately. When I don't sleep, I get depressed, paranoid and grouchy. Can't have me being grouchy. I am such a bear when I am grouchy. Oh the other things are bad too :)
So to that end....
Good Night!
(P.S. If the Karma bank people are reading this...I would like to make a withdrawal)
So I really need to put this runaway train brain of mine to good use. I have an outlet. My photography. I really really enjoy this hobby and it really do provide a good outlet for me. But I really need to put some of my crazy ideas to action. (damn I used really a lot in that last couple of sentences). Anyways, I have been procrastinating on setting up a mini photo studio to do some close quarters shotting for a while now. I have been procrastinating on some other ideas for a while now. I need to stop the procrastinating!
Anyways. I also need to start getting MORE sleep. I haven't been sleeping the greatest lately. When I don't sleep, I get depressed, paranoid and grouchy. Can't have me being grouchy. I am such a bear when I am grouchy. Oh the other things are bad too :)
So to that end....
Good Night!
(P.S. If the Karma bank people are reading this...I would like to make a withdrawal)
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Almost 2 months since my last post!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow, I hadn't realized it had been so long since I posted. I don't think I am too good at this blogging thing. I have to get out of the mindset that I have to write something epic anytime I post.
Just need to write, get my thoughts out. Rather than letting them rattle around in my skull causing brain damage :(
I have been thinking that I am going to do one of two things. First is rearrange this page so it is more of a photoblog format. I have trouble finding the words for my feelings and my thoughts. That is part of the reason for infrequent posts. Another reason for the infrequent post is sometimes I am second guessing myself. Like who really wants to hear my thoughts. But I have to remember that I am writing this more for myself than anyone else. Do I really care if someone is reading this? Well, a little bit. It would be nice to know someone is reading this and I am not invisible like I feel sometimes.
A friend just recently posted a desire of her's. I agree with it so much. Why is it the good people (I like to think of myself as a good person anyways). But why is it the nice guys or the good people seem to have such a hard time finding happiness? When she described her desire, it made me realize that I deserve better. And to answer her question, No I don't think it is too much to ask for.
Oops got side tracked :) Typical. Anyways the second thing I was thinking, keep this as a word blog and start another that is photoblog. I feel that I can express myself much better through pictures. So maybe that is what I will do.
But it will have to wait. Camera club meeting tomorrow night. Start of a new season. I am so looking forward to this season. It is going to be busy, but a ton of fun.
Ok, enough babbling tonight.
Just need to write, get my thoughts out. Rather than letting them rattle around in my skull causing brain damage :(
I have been thinking that I am going to do one of two things. First is rearrange this page so it is more of a photoblog format. I have trouble finding the words for my feelings and my thoughts. That is part of the reason for infrequent posts. Another reason for the infrequent post is sometimes I am second guessing myself. Like who really wants to hear my thoughts. But I have to remember that I am writing this more for myself than anyone else. Do I really care if someone is reading this? Well, a little bit. It would be nice to know someone is reading this and I am not invisible like I feel sometimes.
A friend just recently posted a desire of her's. I agree with it so much. Why is it the good people (I like to think of myself as a good person anyways). But why is it the nice guys or the good people seem to have such a hard time finding happiness? When she described her desire, it made me realize that I deserve better. And to answer her question, No I don't think it is too much to ask for.
Oops got side tracked :) Typical. Anyways the second thing I was thinking, keep this as a word blog and start another that is photoblog. I feel that I can express myself much better through pictures. So maybe that is what I will do.
But it will have to wait. Camera club meeting tomorrow night. Start of a new season. I am so looking forward to this season. It is going to be busy, but a ton of fun.
Ok, enough babbling tonight.
