Saturday, July 30, 2005
Movie rental night
So Raj and I figured Friday night would be a good time to catch up on some movies that we had missed in the theatres. So off to Rogers Video we went to pick up "Constantine" and "Million Dollar Baby". We went into Rogers thinking it would be a quick in and out. Unfortunately, we were thwarted in that attempt. Turns out Rogers deletes your account with them if you do not use it in 6 months. I am not just talking about at the store level, I could understand the stores purging their databases. But at a corporate level they delete your account if you have no activity in a 6 month period. What a pain in the butt! Maybe I am picky but 6 months seems like an awefully short time considering how little information needs to be stored. Oh well, go figure. So our 2 second trip was stretched to 15 minutes. That may not seem long, but we were HUNGRY!!!!!
We got our dinner and sat down to watch the movies. I was quite happy with both of our choices. We figured since Million Dollar Baby would be the downer of the 2 flicks that we would start with that one. It is a great movie. The acting is supurb and the story is very good. I went in thinking this was a boxing movie, and albeit, boxing is the main story line, but it is more a story about life struggles and overcoming the seemingly impossible to acheive your dreams. Now since I don't want to ruin the main plot, I am not going to say more about it. Morgan Freeman, Clint Eastwood and Hilary Swank all give great preformances. I don't think I have seen a movie yet with Morgan Freeman in it where he does not do the voice over. Don't get me wrong that is not a complaint, he has a great voice for it, it just a comment.
Next was Constantine. I was not expecting a lot out of this movie. I had heard middling reviews for it. Fortunately I was pleasantly surprised. I enjoyed this movie very much. Now I have not read the comics so I didn't really have an expectation from that point of view. However, Raj who has read the comics also seemed to enjoy it. I am sure if you go to his blog he will give a very well written review. So I am not even going to try. I will sum up by saying that the movie was very good, had some good effects (if you ignore the very bad effects used for Hell) and had exactly the type of acting to be expected out of Keanu Reeves.
Both good movies so rent them and enjoy.
Later all.
We got our dinner and sat down to watch the movies. I was quite happy with both of our choices. We figured since Million Dollar Baby would be the downer of the 2 flicks that we would start with that one. It is a great movie. The acting is supurb and the story is very good. I went in thinking this was a boxing movie, and albeit, boxing is the main story line, but it is more a story about life struggles and overcoming the seemingly impossible to acheive your dreams. Now since I don't want to ruin the main plot, I am not going to say more about it. Morgan Freeman, Clint Eastwood and Hilary Swank all give great preformances. I don't think I have seen a movie yet with Morgan Freeman in it where he does not do the voice over. Don't get me wrong that is not a complaint, he has a great voice for it, it just a comment.
Next was Constantine. I was not expecting a lot out of this movie. I had heard middling reviews for it. Fortunately I was pleasantly surprised. I enjoyed this movie very much. Now I have not read the comics so I didn't really have an expectation from that point of view. However, Raj who has read the comics also seemed to enjoy it. I am sure if you go to his blog he will give a very well written review. So I am not even going to try. I will sum up by saying that the movie was very good, had some good effects (if you ignore the very bad effects used for Hell) and had exactly the type of acting to be expected out of Keanu Reeves.
Both good movies so rent them and enjoy.
Later all.
Finally starting to look better
Ok, I finally had a chance to put a little bit of work into the layout of my blog. I am still not 100% happy with the layout as it now is, but it is much better than the previous look. Raj will be happy to see that I centred the posts in the centre column much better. :) He kept getting onto me about that, it bugged his inner calm. :)
As always this is a work in progress and I will tweak it as I get the time.
As always this is a work in progress and I will tweak it as I get the time.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Last night at cottage
After the rambling of yesterday I am feeling much better. I guess I had to get it off my chest. I was kind of skimming it through again as I ran it through the spell checker (as said yesterday, I can be a dumbass at times. I have word et al on my 'puter, so what do I use to write this up on but notepad. Duh. BTW, if anyone can suggest a good offline poster thingy for Blogger, let me know.) Anyways, sidetracked as usual, as I am skimming through it I was tempted to edit my thoughts. But I decided against that line of action. That was my thoughts of the time and I don't regret or retract anything that is posted there.
The one portion that I was really tempted to edit was the bit about the other half's 'boyfriends' and getting between Sarah and me. I wonder if that sounded a litte...selfish...paranoid or just unfair. I know that the other half is not evil (that's my job :)) and that she really has Sarah's best interests in mind, its just she seems so different that I wonder if I was blind to changes in both our personalities. I was thinking today on the boat (took Sarah on another cruise, this time in Kingston. We both had a great time.), I was thinking that we were so wrapped up in trying to get on with life that we forgot to stop and smell the roses. I think we stopped having fun together. Don't ever let that happen to you. I know that in the past couple of years I was feeling so sorry for myself in the crappy jobs that the hours that I spent not at work, I spent worrying about work or...hmm...damn, can't think of how to express this. I guess I spent the hours just feeling sorry and thinking that I was a failure to both my wife and my daughter. I had always said I wanted out of McD's but did very little about it until push came to shove. As I said yesterday, I am not pinning blame on anyone. Just trying to figure out what went wrong. I really realize that there is life after separation and I figure that I have to take what I learned from the past and apply it going forward. As I am typing this, it seems so obvious but in some ways I can be so smart and in others I am such a dunce. Relationships are definitely a dunce area for me. I like to think that I am a smart guy, so it really bugs me when I mess things up. I usually take mistakes that I make very personal. I know a great road to an ulcer or anxiety. I don't like making mistakes, at least not mistakes where I should have known better or where if I had taken the time to look it would not be a mistake. I don't know where I am going with this. I do know that I don't want to make these mistakes again and am making the vow to myself right now to stop and smell those roses.
Well, I think I have done enough soul bearing for now. It has been a great week away from everything. Although I am craving some adult conversation. :) It's funny at the beginning of the week I was in such a state that I was thinking that I could get use to life in the middle of nowhere, but I can definitely say that I would go crazy (or crazier) here in the middle of nowhere. I can say without a hint of a doubt that this week away was definitely what I needed to clear my head. It was in desperate need of clearing. Does that mean I am going to jump on to Lavalife or anything like that...maybe...maybe not right away. Am I going to obsess about the other half dating...that is a definite no. Do I wish things could have been different? Of course. But things are as things are. We take the hand that is dealt us and make the best of it. And to finish this off with another cliche but one that I am going to credit the other half with since it is her that always said it. We can be friends, right now it is a little touch and go since I am still feeling the wounds, but time will heal those or at least minimize them. I still care for her and will always but we have to move on. So her saying; "Tough times don't last, tough people do." Now I may have screwed it up, but you get the gist.
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
Rambling a bit
Sarah wasn't impressed with the waves at first, but with my insistence that we stay in the water a little longer, it soon was a barrel of fun. I wasn't too impressed though after we had finished at the beach. We got changed, and went over to the boardwalk trail to see if we could see any "birdies" and frogs. The boardwalk has been mostly taken down for safety reasons, I guess it deteriorated over the years. Unfortunate, but some of it is still there. But the part that really did not impress me was as we are driving out of the park, I notice new signs that have been posted at the top of the roads to the beaches. They have posted it as no swimming due to high bacteria counts!! Now they tell us. I guess the bacteria just jumped in there and earlier today it was fine!! To tell the truth I am not so worried about it since we did not have our heads under the water and both of us are normally healthy so we should be fine. I think. :)
Well, there is more to write about, but I think that is enough for now as it is getting late and I do have to get up a little bit earlier tomorrow since we are heading out to Kingston for the day.
As much as I am loving having a week with my daughter and am a little lonely. This kind of trip that should be done as a family and something that we should have done a long time ago. Maybe if we had things would not have turned out as they have. I guess I shouldn't dwell on it too much. Things are as they are and there isn't much that is going to change that. We did give it a try again and it didn't work out for whatever reasons. Although I sometimes feel that the other half wasn't trying as hard to make it work, but I can't speak for her or her feelings. I guess if she is happier with this arrangement, then I guess that is probably best for Sarah. Staying together "for the kids" is a crock of shit. If the parents are not happy and there is tension in the air, the kids will pick up on this and it can not be healthy for them. I figure that I have come to accept my separation and realize in my head that it is over and hopefully for the best. The memo however has taken the slow boat to my heart and it is having the harder time letting go. I know that there is too much water under the bridge and that we probably let the bad fester for too long before we tried to fix it for anything to come of it. But I can't help but look back on the past and think "Gee, if I had done this or that or whatever, things might have been better or different or....". I HAVE to stop thinking like this, it was not fully my fault, I am not the only guilty party here. Laying blame is also not going to make things better. As you know I am not a religious or spiritual person, however, I do tend to think that things happen for a reason. That is not to say that we have no free will and that EVERYTHING is determined by fate. But I just can't believe everything is random, at least I don't want to believe that everything is random and that there is no meaning to life.
I am rambling, for the most part this is the first time I am really admitting these thoughts to myself. I have verbalized some of these thoughts to friends in the past, but sitting down and writing them out is making them all the more real.
The other half started dating shortly after we ended things. This was quite a blow to me in that I was no where near ready to start down that road. My self-esteem has taken a huge blow. That is something that will take time to heal. It wasn't like it was huge to begin with. I am just afraid that her new "boyfriends" will get between Sarah and me. I would absolutely hate that to happen. I honestly don't believe it would happen and I did let her know my feelings on the issue so I truly believe I am just being paranoid on this point.
I guess I should really think about seeing other people. That is of course if I could find another people that would want to see me. I always said I was lucky to find the one woman in the world who would marry me. I realize I am not the easiest person to get along with all the time, but there must be others out there for me. I hope anyways. I always thought that I could go through life alone, but I do miss a lot of things that female relationships offer (to put it obliquely). And I am not only talking about the sexual parts. I miss the....damn I don't even know how to say it. I guess the companionship. Cuddling was always fun too. :)
Well, lets put this to paper (you know what I mean! :), starting now it is Operation Get Steve a life. Something that I only just realized recently, dressing nice does make one feel better. My usual fashion statement is Jeans and T-shirts. Not to say I dressed like a slob, they are nice looking jeans and T-shirts. But I have really started to believe that ZZ Top had it right; "Every girl likes a Sharp Dressed Man". So with that in mind, I have to get my surrogate sister to help me out. She is the "Shopping Diva". I don't do clothes shopping that well. I end up coming home with more of the same. I have 2 basic colours that I choose; Black or Blue. I got adventurous last time I went out shopping by myself and came home with Beige too. Except that the general consensus is that is an ugly shirt :( but I don't care because I like it. :)
Also got to really get to losing the "few extra pounds" that I have. Raj, are you listening? We gotta get you a bike so I have a partner to go cycling with :) But seriously, really have to stop eating the crap that I eat (ok I admit that I have been eating a lot less crap lately and the 6 pounds that I have shed in the last couple of weeks will agree with that) but I could eat better. So "brown bagging" it for work for most of the time and hitting the gym more often. Or other exercises while the weather is nice. I don't think the bike has been out this year yet. :(
WOW, I have been rambling on and the time is flying away. Going to wrap this up now. I never really believed it before, but writing this out has made me feel a little better. I really have to start doing this on a more regular basis. ;)
Later dudes and dudettes.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Trent Severn Cruise
Cruise rides seem to be a popular choice for 4 year olds. We took a 2 hour cruise up and down Locks 20 and 21 of the Trent-Severn waterway. Lock 21 by the way is the World's Tallest Hydraulic Lift Lock. The cruise was great. Also for the guy behind me in line, Gilligan's Island was a "3 hour Cruise" that they got lost on, not a 2 hour cruise. Grrr. If you are going to educate your kid about bad 70's (or was that 80's?) sitcoms at least get it right. Now I say bad, but really in comparison to the reality shows of today, were they really that bad?
We checked out Downtown Peterborough and the mall in the middle. That didn't take long at all. :(
So back to the cottage and a dip in the river again. We borrowed the inflatable dingy from the neighbours and in the Little one went and up the river we went. It is only about neck deep at the deepest (ok maybe a couple of holes which are deeper). I put together a first aid kit in case the Little One hurt herself. So of course the one that gets to christen the new kit is myself. :( Nothing major, just a scrape on the side of my leg. Those Q-tips with the Iodine and Antiseptic inside them are great. My hat off to the guy who thought that one up.
We checked out Downtown Peterborough and the mall in the middle. That didn't take long at all. :(
So back to the cottage and a dip in the river again. We borrowed the inflatable dingy from the neighbours and in the Little one went and up the river we went. It is only about neck deep at the deepest (ok maybe a couple of holes which are deeper). I put together a first aid kit in case the Little One hurt herself. So of course the one that gets to christen the new kit is myself. :( Nothing major, just a scrape on the side of my leg. Those Q-tips with the Iodine and Antiseptic inside them are great. My hat off to the guy who thought that one up.
Monday, July 18, 2005
Lang Pioneer Village
Today we find Lang Historic Pioneer Village. They have a working Grist Mill at the site on the Indian River. Very cool. The village is quite good too. Not as big as say Black Creek but cool none the less. Little one likes it too, but WOW is it hot. This humidity has got to break sometime. They are predicting thunderstorms for tonight. Hopefully, that will help with cutting the humidity.
Lightning bugs are extremely cool. We discovered them tonight as we are sitting out the backyard enjoying ourselves before it gets dark. I am sitting on the lounger reading some homework and Sarah is playing, when all of a sudden she starts going nuts because there are lights floating in the air. Fortunately the girls next door have let Sarah play with their yard toys while she is up here. One of the said toys is a bug net. A couple of swipes later and bingo we have a captured lightning bug and a fascinated 4 year old. "Get another one Daddy!!"
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Vacation Officially Starts!
Campbellford, ON
Since my cooking has a lot to be desired. I have elected to make picnic lunches each day and pick up suppers where ever we are visiting that day. For supper I decided that a drive into town would be a grand idea. Guess what?! Small town Ontario on a Sunday is the equivalent to a ghost town. Since I am a bonehead at times and have trouble reading a digital clock (duh!), we puttered into town about an hour before we should have been eating supper, I made the quick executive decision to check out Peterborough. It must have open food places, it is "big city". Not to mention the locks would be cool to show Sarah.
As we are trying to find things in Peterborough and Sarah telling me she is hungry, we find one of the locks in Peterborough (Lock 20) and as our luck has it, a boat is just going through the locks. Sarah was reluctant at first but that was short lived.
To make a short story out of a long story that was to be a short story, we found dinner (Taco Bell and Long John Silver's mixed restaurant) and headed back to the cottage and went off to bed.
Lots of pics here.
Since my cooking has a lot to be desired. I have elected to make picnic lunches each day and pick up suppers where ever we are visiting that day. For supper I decided that a drive into town would be a grand idea. Guess what?! Small town Ontario on a Sunday is the equivalent to a ghost town. Since I am a bonehead at times and have trouble reading a digital clock (duh!), we puttered into town about an hour before we should have been eating supper, I made the quick executive decision to check out Peterborough. It must have open food places, it is "big city". Not to mention the locks would be cool to show Sarah.
As we are trying to find things in Peterborough and Sarah telling me she is hungry, we find one of the locks in Peterborough (Lock 20) and as our luck has it, a boat is just going through the locks. Sarah was reluctant at first but that was short lived.
To make a short story out of a long story that was to be a short story, we found dinner (Taco Bell and Long John Silver's mixed restaurant) and headed back to the cottage and went off to bed.
Lots of pics here.
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
I gotta get myself out of this funk.
I found a really interesting comic journal today. Basically this guy documented a period of his life through comics. It's probably not the best thing that I should be reading right now considering I am trying to shake this depressed funk I have been in lately, but the thing is I can really identify with this guy and in a way it is helping in that it shows me that I am not the only one out there that has had life shit on him. Not that I like to see people have shit times, but just knowing that the things I am feeling are somewhat normal.
I know that it is over between me and the ex (I think that is the first I have refered to her as that), but sometimes as I am lying awake trying to get at least a few hours of sleep before I have to drag my ass to work I wonder what she is thinking...does she miss me....or is it just me?
She would say that I had a negative outlook on life, that I always saw the bad and not so much of the good. I personally call it being realistic. I am beginning to wonder if maybe, just maybe she is right. But its hard to see the lighter side when life keeps getting up and kicking you in the nads.
So here we go, starting today, I am going to try see the lighter side of life, stop being so damn "realistic" and just enjoy. Hell, it can't get any worse can it?
Really though I do have a lovely daughter and a few great friends. I guess it could be a lot worse.
Well, 2 more days and I am on a vacation for a week. A very deserved vacation. Need a week to just decompress. I rented a cottage up near Campbellford for Sarah and I to enjoy. A week away from everything.
Anyways, enough of my rambling. If you are interested in the journal I mentioned at the beginning, here is the link.
Later, Dudes.
I know that it is over between me and the ex (I think that is the first I have refered to her as that), but sometimes as I am lying awake trying to get at least a few hours of sleep before I have to drag my ass to work I wonder what she is thinking...does she miss me....or is it just me?
She would say that I had a negative outlook on life, that I always saw the bad and not so much of the good. I personally call it being realistic. I am beginning to wonder if maybe, just maybe she is right. But its hard to see the lighter side when life keeps getting up and kicking you in the nads.
So here we go, starting today, I am going to try see the lighter side of life, stop being so damn "realistic" and just enjoy. Hell, it can't get any worse can it?
Really though I do have a lovely daughter and a few great friends. I guess it could be a lot worse.
Well, 2 more days and I am on a vacation for a week. A very deserved vacation. Need a week to just decompress. I rented a cottage up near Campbellford for Sarah and I to enjoy. A week away from everything.
Anyways, enough of my rambling. If you are interested in the journal I mentioned at the beginning, here is the link.
Later, Dudes.
Monday, July 11, 2005
Great Martini Bar
Thanks to Raj, we found a great Martini bar in Toronto tonight. It is called Insomina on Bloor at Bathurst. It is a great bar. After 10pm on most nights they have DJ spun music. Sundays are downtempo beats with DJ Riss-K. It was a great night. Good Martinis great music and wonderful looking ladies. Did I mention I love this town.
Anyways, if your in the area, definately worth checking out.
Later.
Anyways, if your in the area, definately worth checking out.
Later.
Sunday, July 03, 2005
Old Movie Night
Sitting at home bored so I decided to finally start watching one of the stack of DVDs that I have waiting to be watched.
Tonight's selection: Grosse Pointe Blank starring John Cusack, Minnie Driver and Dan Aykroyd.
I have never been a big fan of John Cusack, but lately I have seen a couple of his flicks and have enjoyed them.
This film was quite funny. Not an earth shattering great movie, but very entertaining and funny. Basically it is about a professional killer (Cusack) who goes back to his home town for his 10 year high school reuinion. That's about all I can say with out giving away too much of the plot.
If you are looking for some light, humourous entertainment, this will definately fit the bill.
On a side note, depression sucks!
Talk to you later.
Tonight's selection: Grosse Pointe Blank starring John Cusack, Minnie Driver and Dan Aykroyd.
I have never been a big fan of John Cusack, but lately I have seen a couple of his flicks and have enjoyed them.
This film was quite funny. Not an earth shattering great movie, but very entertaining and funny. Basically it is about a professional killer (Cusack) who goes back to his home town for his 10 year high school reuinion. That's about all I can say with out giving away too much of the plot.
If you are looking for some light, humourous entertainment, this will definately fit the bill.
On a side note, depression sucks!
Talk to you later.
Saturday, July 02, 2005
New look
Here it is the new look of my blog. Well, until I get bored of it and change it again. :)
Although I would not say that this is a finished piece of work. Nor am I going to claim that the CSS is perfect. Actually it is probably far from perfect. In fact, I know there is an error some where that will cause some Micro$oft IE browsers to display it wrong. The setup at work shows it wrong. But here at home it looks perfect on both IE and Firefox and I had a friend try it on Safari on his Mac (drool, drool) and it look right there too.
So as usual Microsoft is screwing something up. What's new.
As I said earlier, this is a work in progress. I have a few other thoughts that I want to impliment. For one the reading list still needs work. I home to have a lot more detail over there and start to actually write little reviews for what I read. :) Like any one cares for my opinion, but its my blog so you are going to get it anyways. :P
So stay tuned and look to see how it progress's. Updates may happen at a glacial pace but they will happen. Let me know what you think. Leave a comment. And don't worry about hurting my feelings, I can accept all critisisms. Suggestions are also welcome :)
TTYL.
Although I would not say that this is a finished piece of work. Nor am I going to claim that the CSS is perfect. Actually it is probably far from perfect. In fact, I know there is an error some where that will cause some Micro$oft IE browsers to display it wrong. The setup at work shows it wrong. But here at home it looks perfect on both IE and Firefox and I had a friend try it on Safari on his Mac (drool, drool) and it look right there too.
So as usual Microsoft is screwing something up. What's new.
As I said earlier, this is a work in progress. I have a few other thoughts that I want to impliment. For one the reading list still needs work. I home to have a lot more detail over there and start to actually write little reviews for what I read. :) Like any one cares for my opinion, but its my blog so you are going to get it anyways. :P
So stay tuned and look to see how it progress's. Updates may happen at a glacial pace but they will happen. Let me know what you think. Leave a comment. And don't worry about hurting my feelings, I can accept all critisisms. Suggestions are also welcome :)
TTYL.
