Today was the big day at the beach.
We took our picnic lunch and headed down to
Presqu'ile Provincial Park.
It was really nice.
The water was surprisingly warm, but very wavy and very windy at the beach.
That however, did not prevent us from having a great time at the beach.
We build
Big Castle Sarah.
And
Little Castle Sarah.
And a
road network and couple of "cakes".
Sarah wasn't impressed with the
waves at first, but with my insistence that we stay in the water a little longer, it soon was a barrel of fun.
I wasn't too impressed though after we had finished at the beach.
We got changed, and went over to the boardwalk trail to see if we could see any "birdies" and frogs.
The boardwalk has been mostly taken down for safety reasons, I guess it deteriorated over the years.
Unfortunate, but some of it is still there.
But the part that really did not impress me was as we are driving out of the park, I notice new signs that have been posted at the top of the roads to the beaches.
They have posted it as no swimming due to high bacteria counts!!
Now they tell us.
I guess the bacteria just jumped in there and earlier today it was fine!!
To tell the truth I am not so worried about it since we did not have our heads under the water and both of us are normally healthy so we should be fine.
I think.
:)
Well, there is more to write about, but I think that is enough for now as it is getting late and I do have to get up a little bit earlier tomorrow since we are heading out to Kingston for the day.
As much as I am loving having a week with my daughter and am a little lonely.
This kind of trip that should be done as a family and something that we should have done a long time ago.
Maybe if we had things would not have turned out as they have.
I guess I shouldn't dwell on it too much.
Things are as they are and there isn't much that is going to change that.
We did give it a try again and it didn't work out for whatever reasons.
Although I sometimes feel that the other half wasn't trying as hard to make it work, but I can't speak for her or her feelings.
I guess if she is happier with this arrangement, then I guess that is probably best for Sarah.
Staying together "for the kids" is a crock of shit.
If the parents are not happy and there is tension in the air, the kids will pick up on this and it can not be healthy for them.
I figure that I have come to accept my separation and realize in my head that it is over and hopefully for the best.
The memo however has taken the slow boat to my heart and it is having the harder time letting go.
I know that there is too much water under the bridge and that we probably let the bad fester for too long before we tried to fix it for anything to come of it.
But I can't help but look back on the past and think "Gee, if I had done this or that or whatever, things might have been better or different or....".
I HAVE to stop thinking like this, it was not fully my fault, I am not the only guilty party here.
Laying blame is also not going to make things better.
As you know I am not a religious or spiritual person, however, I do tend to think that things happen for a reason.
That is not to say that we have no free will and that EVERYTHING is determined by fate.
But I just can't believe everything is random, at least I don't want to believe that everything is random and that there is no meaning to life.
I am rambling, for the most part this is the first time I am really admitting these thoughts to myself.
I have verbalized some of these thoughts to friends in the past, but sitting down and writing them out is making them all the more real.
The other half started dating shortly after we ended things.
This was quite a blow to me in that I was no where near ready to start down that road.
My self-esteem has taken a huge blow.
That is something that will take time to heal.
It wasn't like it was huge to begin with.
I am just afraid that her new "boyfriends" will get between Sarah and me.
I would absolutely hate that to happen.
I honestly don't believe it would happen and I did let her know my feelings on the issue so I truly believe I am just being paranoid on this point.
I guess I should really think about seeing other people.
That is of course if I could find another people that would want to see me.
I always said I was lucky to find the one woman in the world who would marry me.
I realize I am not the easiest person to get along with all the time, but there must be others out there for me.
I hope anyways.
I always thought that I could go through life alone, but I do miss a lot of things that female relationships offer (to put it obliquely).
And I am not only talking about the sexual parts.
I miss the....damn I don't even know how to say it.
I guess the companionship.
Cuddling was always fun too.
:)
Well, lets put this to paper (you know what I mean! :), starting now it is Operation Get Steve a life.
Something that I only just realized recently, dressing nice does make one feel better.
My usual fashion statement is Jeans and T-shirts.
Not to say I dressed like a slob, they are nice looking jeans and T-shirts.
But I have really started to believe that ZZ Top had it right; "Every girl likes a Sharp Dressed Man".
So with that in mind, I have to get my surrogate sister to help me out.
She is the "Shopping Diva".
I don't do clothes shopping that well.
I end up coming home with more of the same.
I have 2 basic colours that I choose; Black or Blue.
I got adventurous last time I went out shopping by myself and came home with Beige too.
Except that the general consensus is that is an ugly shirt :( but I don't care because I like it. :)
Also got to really get to losing the "few extra pounds" that I have.
Raj, are you listening?
We gotta get you a bike so I have a partner to go cycling with :)
But seriously, really have to stop eating the crap that I eat (ok I admit that I have been eating a lot less crap lately and the 6 pounds that I have shed in the last couple of weeks will agree with that) but I could eat better.
So "brown bagging" it for work for most of the time and hitting the gym more often.
Or other exercises while the weather is nice.
I don't think the bike has been out this year yet. :(
WOW, I have been rambling on and the time is flying away.
Going to wrap this up now.
I never really believed it before, but writing this out has made me feel a little better.
I really have to start doing this on a more regular basis. ;)
Later dudes and dudettes.
